In June 2025, I was sun-kissed on the Italian coast, engaged, and so excited for the future ahead. I was also still holding on to the reins of control and ignoring things God was trying to show me because “I had a plan.” While everything looked Instagram-worthy and things were going according to MY plans, God saw what was coming.
One year later, I find myself in a season of separation, counting down the days to file divorce for the second time.
Those words felt humiliating to type out.
While this current reality is something I never dreamt I’d be walking through, I still hold on to hope in what God has in store for me. Today, I find myself spiritually stronger. I’m finding joy even through a hard season. And I’m still laughing with the people that surround me with love. But now, I’ve fully surrendered to HIS plans.
When Life Feels Out of Control, Dig Deeper Into God
Have you noticed that the enemy ups his game when we’re on the verge of leveling up in our relationship with God?
He wants us to be distracted, discouraged, and worn down so we give up and turn to our old comforts that sometimes would bring a temporary and false sense of relief. Instead of giving into those inevitably harmful temptations, that’s the time to dig our heels in and double down in the Word. To engulf ourselves in praise and worship and in reading our Bible. When we do, God gives us a peace that is beyond understanding.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)
Seeing our circumstances swirling around us so far beyond our control is jarring. Yet those circumstances remain fully in God’s control.
What Happens When You Trust Your Plans Instead of God’s?
Sometimes the struggles we face are the result of the choices we made when trying to do things in our own ability. (Anyone else relate to that?)
In my Bible Recap reading recently, I read a story about King David I had never known before. In 2 Samuel 24, David orders a census of Israel and Judah to count his fighting men. While this procedure seems like an expected action from a military leader, what this really shows was a lack of faith. David was relying on the size of his army rather than God for protection.
As a consequence God gave him 3 options: three years of famine, three months of fleeing from his enemies, or three days of deadly plague across the land. In an effort to “rip the bandaid off” and get it over with, David chooses the plague. However, David still doesn’t get out scot-free. There was pain and turmoil because of his choice to not trust God, but David learns from this brief hard lesson.
God Can Redeem Even Our Wrong Turns
Choosing to not trust God’s will for our lives often costs us emotionally and financially. It also often delays the good that He has in store for us.
Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Not just in some things, but in every situation He will take our deeply flawed plans that result in heartache and still turn them to produce good in our lives.
Is it a painful reality to learn we’ve been disillusioned? Of course.
Is it uncomfortable to confess when we were wrong? Most definitely.
But, there is so much growth and spiritual maturing that can happen when we’re able to humble ourselves and admit that our feeble attempts at trying to direct our lives have once again failed.
James 4:10 says when we humble ourselves, He will lift us up. Laying down our pride and self-sufficiency proves how dependent we are supposed to be on Him. When we do, He shows us grace, gives us wisdom, and strengthens us for HIS greater plans.
In the words of the great psalmist, Jeremy Camp:
“My ego, my pride, my grip on my life. Throw it all into the fire and leave no survivors.”
